A New Home...

April 14, 2011

Last night was my first bible study class.  Since discovering the Word of God, it has become a source of comfort and joy, as well as the roadmap by which I will live the rest of my life, and I want to learn more.  Let me back up a bit...

This past Sunday, I had set my sights on church.  I had already attended a Catholic church, but wanted to continue my search for a place I felt 'at home' in.  The night before, I searched the web for addresses, and had found one pretty close to my home, so I mapped it with the full intension of attending on Sunday.

Well, on Sunday morning, as I pulled into the parking lot of the church, I found myself 'blank'.  Now when I say blank, it was as if there was nothing pulling me to this place.  I was early, so I sat in my car and read the Bible for about 10 minutes.  It was then that I felt the proddings of the Lord telling me I needed to go elsewhere.  I found this quite strange, after all, aren't all Christian churches good places?  Yes, but there was somewhere else I needed to be, so I pulled out my phone and began looking up addresses for other nearby churches.

As I pulled into the second church, a great calm came over me.  I need to be here.  I parked the car and walked through the parking lot and could here the singing coming from inside.  This felt right to me.  As I entered, a woman guided me to the congregation, introduced me to the gentleman standing at the door, he gave me a program, and I found an empty pew near the back.  I joined in singing the remainder of the song (it was new to me, but I stumbled through it) then settled into my seat.  I began leafing through the program to see how much I had already missed, when a small piece of paper caught my eye.  Tears began to well up as I read it...it was a simple note inviting everyone to a free concert of classical music to celebrate one woman's escape from Mormonism and deliverance into the arms of our Loving Savior.  Wow!  The Lord really does deliver what you need...you just need to open your heart to Him and accept Him into your life!

The remainder of the service that Sunday was quite good.  It was different than what I had ever attended before, but at this time in my life, different is okay.  I thanked the Pastor on the way out and was about to exit, when Brother Bob noticed I hadn't attended before.  (Brother Bob was standing at the entrance with several other men, shaking the hands of everyone who happened to leave.)  He and I began a conversation, and before I knew it, I had been introduced to his wife, and invited to attend Bible study on the following Wednesday.  As I left, I felt as though I had found a place to fit in.  A place with like-minded Christians willing to accept me into their fold.  In all my years of belonging to the LDS faith, I had never felt that from anyone.

So, I went with the intention of attending my very first Bible study, however, I was introduced to Steve and his wife, Hollie, and we sat in an office discussing me, my past, what had brought me to their doors, etc.  Steve is a former TBM who had been saved in 2006, and he validated what I had experienced...the Lord really did grace me with His Spirit!  Steve assured me the changes taking place within me would stay with me and continue to refine, so long as I strive to follow His Word.  What a wonderful feeling!

We also discussed my TBM husband, and they told me to be patient.  The Lord will work His miracle on my husband in His time, not mine.  Yup, already figured that one out...  I had mentioned to them that the stake president had been over to visit with him, and the bishop had purchased garments for him, and I was quite uncomfortable with it.  They told me that the LDS god would be pulling out all the stops trying to break me.  I had, after all, just gone against them.

Well, that definitely got my attention!  But they both reassured me they would add my name to the prayer warriors, and also they, themselves, would keep me in their prayers.  For the first time ever, I feel like I have others on my side....the side of our Lord, Jesus Christ.  This will definitely not be easy, and as I write this now, there have been several things taking place that show the false god at work.  Nevermind those small things...I will remain focused on my personal Savior, and He shall never forsake me.

John 3:15    That whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.

I shall maintain my commitment to Christ, and defend His name always!  My salvation is far more important than agreeing with the masses.  It kind of comes back to that old story:  If everyone was jumping off a cliff…

What Was I Thinking?

4/12/11

Last night, my pride got the better of me and I argued with my LDS husband.  Since being saved only two weeks ago, I have gained such a strong testimony of Christ, our Savior.  Well, of course, I now think I know it all, and was questioning him about some of the beliefs of his faith.  It didn’t go well.  I said some terrible things, and felt awful after the dust had settled.  I had been so caught up in proving things to him that I didn’t stop to ponder why I insisted on pushing his buttons.  I just wanted him to see the absolute peace and glory that is only achieved through Christ…but there was no peace at that moment, and I am certain Christ didn’t view any of it as glorious.

Well, this morning, my body ached from all the tension I had allowed in the night before.  I was up very early (4:30am), and proceeded about my daily routine of coffee, prayer and scripture.  In my prayer, I asked the Lord to bless me with the wisdom to understand the scripture He needed me to read and understand, and He did.  I read mostly from Romans, and my soul had begun to feel calmer, but my mind was still sour from the night before.  Why was my husband so stubborn?  Why won’t he listen to anything I say?  I said another small prayer asking that these troubled thoughts leave me, but they wouldn’t.  Now, why wasn’t God listening to me?  Anytime I had asked Him for help, I received it.  What had changed so drastically in the past twelve hours?

I was just finishing up getting ready for work, and had to stop.  I felt so sick in my gut.  I sat down on the edge of the bathtub and prayed, yet again.  I asked for the grace of God to help me overcome my bitterness toward that religion.  I reverenced my mind and pondered the reasons why I was so frustrated…and it welled up inside of me so effortlessly. 

I had begun to lose faith in Christ.  I was so concerned with research and my own pride; I just wanted my husband to think just like me, and be just like me, RIGHT NOW!  I wasn’t trusting Jesus to guide my husband to the truth in His time…I wanted it done in my time.  And in doing my ‘research’, I had lost sight of what mattered most.  Jesus Christ, my personal Savior.  I had pushed Him to the back seat behind my own pride.

I was mortified!  When I came to the realization that I had been searching for proof of falsehood in a book I already knew was false, I had cast doubt upon the Word of God.  I didn’t believe what the Bible had already told me (my pride had wanted to PROVE it; not just believe it).  Once I admitted this truth, the anxiety left me and once again, I was at peace. 

In realizing this, I wondered why I had been so easily sidetracked from His Word.  Then it hit me; I realized that I was being diverted by the additional doctrine which was currently accompanying my bible (it had belonged to my grandmother, and she was a devout Mormon, so needless to say, the set she used included all the ‘Standard Works’ of the LDS faith), and came to understand that I needed to purchase my own Bible, sans additional doctrine.

I had turned my heart away from that which was most important…Jesus Christ.  I believe it was a test, of sorts, to trust my faith in Him.  I am such an infant in the word of the Lord.  At that moment, I promised to try to hold my tongue and keep my pride in check until I have learned MUCH more and He has added to my testimony of Him. 

Matthew 6:33                      But seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 

In other words, Linda, sit down, shut your mouth, and open your soul to the Lord already!  You have so much more to learn!